More pics. I eventually made my way to Capitol Reef State Park (don;t think I'd ever been there before. Along the whole trip I kept seeing signs for places I had such fond memories of or places I have wanted to go or brand new places. I wish there's been more time. When my camera finally kept saying "Please reinsert memory stick" I made a quick decision to just go home (which my GPS said I could make before dark) instead of going through Bryce and Zion as I had intended. Zion is less than an hour from my house and Bryce is about 3 hours away. I can go on a day trip.  I found a restaurant going out of Capitol Reef and t was MUCH better than I had hoped. The ride home WAS scenic and relaxed and I made it home well before dark  and was greeted by my family who I was happy to see. The dogs didn't eat or drink while I was gone and Bruce had a relaxing time but I think he was glad to see me.

I LOVED my recent 2 day trip. I got a late start due to exhaustion and needing to get some supplies (like a charger cord for my GPS. could not find that cord for anything!- turns out Radio Shack was getting those cords in that afternoon, but they weren't in then. So, though I had an old atlas I bought a new GPS. I'm glad I did. I've since rehomed the old one) I needed a few other things too so instead of leaving around 6 am as I wished I actually left town at about 9 or 9:30. I decided to cut out Dead Horse Point and Moab from my trip and just head for the cabin. I had wanted to make sure the cabin I would be in had a fireplace so I asked the comper consider any. It did not (though I thought I saw that it was rtesupposed to on the information) The person I talked to offered me an upgrade (and whew what an upgrade!!) The offered cabin is between Monticello and Blanding (closer to Blanding) It is in an un-GPS-able area, out there totally by itself. He gave great directions on how to find it from Monticello or Blanding. The thing is a 3 story wood cabin, solar powered with its own well. It has a wood burning stove. Well, here's the cabin info
My Home For a Night

The 3 bedroom 1 1/2 bath is just what's available to renters. It's actually much larger than that. I didn't care about the Direct TV or many of the other amenities, but the wood burning stove and the wifi were good. That cabin includes a full kitchen, a bathtub big enough to immerse in, a wrap around patio and a flippin' PIANO! I was very much looking forward to getting there.

I decided to take the shortest time route and so started up I-15. I hoped I'd be hungry by the time I got to Beaver because there is a cheese factory there. I wanted to try the squeaky cheese everyone around here raves about, but I made scrambled eggs and cinnamon doughnuts for me and the dogs at about 6am and wasn't hungry at all by the time I hit Beaver. Yes folks, I went alone. When I worked for AT&T and could afford to  trek travel I did that a lot, or with Miles or with Miles and the girls and Jane, or on daytrips with a few other people. Traveling with kindred spirit is the BEST but traveling by myself is my second choice. Bruce doesn't like to travel so he declined and I asked on Facebook but no one took me up on the trip.

My first actual stop was Cove Fort. I'd driven by before many times and had never stopped. I thought it was time to rectify that even though I wasn't looking forward to the proselyting. It's an LDS historical site. The history of the LDS and particularly how Utah was settled fascinates me, but I no longer consider myself LDS. I don't consider myself religious. I do consider myself spiritual and I try to keep an open mind wondering if changes in beliefs are part of a good experience in life. I don't know and I am not going to pretend that i do. Anyway, Cove Fort was interesting looking even before i got out of the car. I have pioneer forbears.They came from Europe, England and Norway if i am remembering right. Then they took that long trek to Utah. I am not sure if  any of them went through Nauvoo or Missouri but the pioneers that were in those first groups to settle in Salt Lake City probably thought they were settling where they would live for the rest of their lives. But not so. Brigham Young was wanting to build a self sufficient set of communities that were interdependent and not dependennt on the outside world. There was a man by the name of Hinckley (I forget his first name right now but he was the grandfather of a recent church president Gordon B Hinckley  and he and his family had settled in Coalville (which is a lovely pastoral valley now - or at least when i was last there. He was hardly settled in when Brigham Young called him to go build a fort. Cove Fort. This is fairly close to Fillmore where my own great grandfather had a farm and where my grandmother was born. He immediately said yes and he and his family trekked 10 days from Coalville and he commenced to build this fort. It's made of volcanic rock and limestone. I took a million pictures there and hoped to remember a lot of the stories but when I got back I learned that I will probably need to replace my camera. Most of the pictures did not come out well at all. But here are some. And if you ever get a chance to visit and you like local history, well, I say it's well worth the time.

Initial views of Cove Fort

The Hinckley cabin disassembled and numbered, brought to Cove Fort and reassembled. The Hinckley's had 11 children. I was TRULY impressed at what they fit into the cabin and I think these people were probably happy and healthy

a couple bad shots of the inside of the cabin. I sure wish the Cove Fort pics had turned out

entrance= the walls are 18" thick

One of the two giant front doors

the black locust trees planted by the founder. they have much exceeded their usual lifespan and they now have been diagnosed with a disease so they are being cut down in November. There are some (2 or 3) of their saplings that will replace them. I was sad to learn they are being cut down

The stable area. The stable could hold 27 horses

a garden area. the Sister who showed me around said they had just recently taken up most of the garden for the winter but she went on about the good eating this spring and summer they'd had

One side of rooms. Each room had a chimney because it had it's own fireplace an there were interconnecting doors inside so people did not have to go out in inclement weather I took so many pics of each of the rooms. Sick they didn't come out. They had rooms for women and rooms for men. The rate was 50 cents a night for half a small bed. Then there were rooms for the family, a VIP room mostly used by Brigham Young when he was down. A big kitchen a laundry room, a post office and a telegraph office

The other side

The stable again

a one horse stagecoach

The telegraph office (working)

There were also other outbuildings like a bunkhouse, a blacksmith, an ice house and a structure where they could hoise up oxen to shoe them (I'd never known they shoed oxen!) Apparently oxen will fall down if you left a leg, unlike a horse or mule so there was this rather elaborate support. Those people used EVERYTHING The was a coat and the issionary asked us to guess what it was, we thought beaver maybe, but it was a horse hide from a horse that had died. They saved their own hair and used it for utilitarian and decorative purposes (hair sculpture!) Not much was wasted and the craftmanship and care was beautiful. I really enjoyed Cove Fort

I proceeded down I-70 and a good while later saw a turn off for Dead Horse Point. I had decided not to go but I changed my mind. Wish I hadn't. I did get an annual pass to State Parks and a t-shirt at the visitors center but was shocked by signs asking visitors to turn off any faucets they saw running (in the bathrooms) because there was no natural water source for the park so water was being trucked in from Moab.. I thought WTF? this park is formed by the flippin Colorado River!!!!! But indeed when I went to see the goosenecks I remember most fondly it was bone dry! (None of my Dead Horse Point pictures turned out) I was so sad. My happy mood (I'd actually been in a lot of moods but they had been variations of happy) disappeared and a new blue black mood took over. It was awhile before i reached Moab and oh MY! has it EVER grown!!!! I was hungry and would have liked to eat there and be a tourist but I wanted to make the cabin beofe dark and to do that there was no time to stop. And no time for Hole In the Rock which I passed right by or Fisher Towers or anything. I just kept driving through places where you MIGHT get one radio station, usually country (NOT my favorite) By the time I got to Monticello I knew I wasn't going to find the cabin before dark. So I decided to stop for dinner (hadn't eaten since breakfast) I stopped at a convenience store and asked if there was a restaurant- the cashier told me there was and where and as I left she came running after me. "Ma'amm did you know your jeans are riipped?" "No" I'd had a little hole about a back pocket and she told me they were ripped all the way. I grabbed another pair of jeans and hurried inside where I had to wait forever for a bathroom to change and OMG It was ALL the way ip and down past my knee and I hadn't known it... How long had it been like that? Anyway, freshly changed I went to the restaurant which was a dive. But....the food was much better than I thought it might be, I had a homemade vegetable soup and a buffalo patty and a baked potato which I ate little of because the yellow stuff on it was unlikely to have been butter. but the meal was refreshing and thought it was dark by now I figured I wasn't too far from the cabin. There were so many deer crossing warnings I was starting to hallucinate deer and I was very tired and ready to stretch out. It took me awhile to find mile markrs (on the opposite side of the road from me and then I really cant see at night so I ws straining to read them. The place I needed to be was between mile markers 55 and 56 near a big lake (which I did not see at all. Finally I saw the place I had to tuen. I did. Followed the road 2 miles as directed and nope... nothing. I was by then on completely dark unpaved unlit roads. I got loster and loster and loster. I did not even know how to get back to where I'd been. This was a remote place and something Bruce said about me being naive enough to tell people i was traveling alone got into my head in a very bad way. I was making up EVIL stories in my head and getting more and more scared and desperate. Then, in the most surreal way, animals started crossing the road in front of me... mostly little animals. I couldn't tell what they were and some did not look like mammals. then there was a spate of rabbit and more little animals. Finally a palomino HORSEwet across the road right in front of me. I honestly felt like I was in the Twiilight Zone and wondered if I was going to die that night. Eventually, I don't know how, I found my way back to the highway and wondered desperately what to do. I was so tired and scared I thought about trying to drive home. I doubted I'd make it. I was verry drowsy. I thought about trying to find another room but it was UEA and everything was likely booked. I decided to try to find the cabin again. I drove in circles along that highway between those 2 mile markers until finally I saw the country road I was supposed to be on. But I could not find the green gate and had to go back. Finally I saw what must be it and drove and FINALLY (about 11pm) there was the cabin! it was so dark...they had 2 solar lights in the flower containers and weilding one of those like it was a light sword I attempted to key in the door code. Thankfully it worked. There was a loaf of homemade bread and some butter on the counter, I assume as a welcome. I pretty much collapsed. I did eventually bring my stuff in and eventually explored the cabin (found a note on the wood burning stove forbidding its use which ticked me off) located the bed I wanted and answered Bruce's messages. Told him I had just gotten there and I had been scared half to death. Told him about the animals (it seemed somehow Lovecraftian) He was glad I was safe and told me he loved me and to go to bed. And that's what I did. Sunrise woke me up and I wanted to get pics. 

My rather pitiful pics from the cabin. Know what I loved MOST there? Now the bed was comfy and I needed it but what I loved most was the blinds! no strings or anything you just moved the up or down and they STAYED. I too

k a shower and loaded the car and added fluids and vamoosed. Hardly any time n the cabin at all. Finally saw the lake they were referring to in the daylight. thought I would get gas and have breakfast in Blanding. I found a combination gas station, convenience store, A&W and bowling alley and this really amused me. The card readers on the pumps did not work so i went iin to pay. They kept my card! I asked about that and they said I could have it when I came back. So I filled up and expected them to run it but they instructed me  to do it. I asked about the whole loopy procedure and they said a lot of people just eft afte fillig the pumps so they hold something of theirs till they paid. Jeepers! One of the cashiers told me where I might find a restaurant but I didn't see it and decided to head towward Bryce. I was hoping something nicer would appear. I ran into...miles and miles of miles and miles. I practically felt like I had the whole area to myself. Almost no other cars, the morning was gorgeous and I was in another million happy moods, There was a radio station from Four Corners that I found I liked even though I was unfamiliar with the songs. the sky was such beautiful shades of blue and the clouds seemed playful. It was wonderful! The unoccupied by people space was so big I found myself urgently needing tto pee and no place to do that in a bathroom. Stripping in the desert was kind of hilarious. It was near the Colorado River, which in this place had water. I was just joyful and grateful and free and happy!

Looks like I can't add any more pics!!

dreamed I was at some kind of museum, with a class, in my underwear (I think  was wearing a t-shirt)  but with a working vibrator activated the whole time. I was aware enough that this state of affairs made me wish to eschew conversation or notice (yeah, right) and distracted enough that I missed my bus home. What is going on in my subconscious? I feel I might have cause to be concerned that the only dream in recent memory with any sexual content is auto-erotic and distatefully public.

Had an interesting evening with the new guy at work. I was only supposed to spot him. I was going to study. But it didn't work out that way. He is very conversational. No possibility of studying but at least the topic range was interesting! Shamanism (He has been to the Amazon to see a shaman) mythology, Altlantis, All sorts of stuff. It was fun. But i sure didn't get much studying done.

I moved the dogs I had scheduled for Thursday to tomorrow. There's too much to do! And I need to find my camera and some cables and stuff.

My English teacher handed back some writing today and on the sonnet (criteria was that it be 14 lines with no regular rhyme scheme or meter inspired by a food that has a strong emotional association or memory. The fifth line should contain a metaphor, the 8th line should name a color, The closing couple should have a slant rhyme. The poem should also contain a person's name and name a part of the body) Ok...I struggled with this. A thousand things should have come to mind but really only one did. I wrote my "sonnet" in about 10 minutes before class. She wrote that she thinks I should submit it somewhere. Made me laugh. It was a true story in my grandma's kitchen (now mine. Much cleaner when it was hers. Still....)

Greeting

Kibbutzing in the kitchen, preparing for Buddy

the blinky boy, we peered into the fridge, found

olive casserole. That would do. The right mix

of comfort and chic. Pulling it out you

dropped it on the floor, olives staring up- 

black accusing eyes. We gaped. There was

nothing else to offer him, come all the way

from Wyoming. Your cheeks red as the strewn

tomatoes, you scooped the mess onto a plate,

then to a pan, and began warming it.

“Not a word,” you hissed,” He’ll never know.”

My eyes were big, I startled at the knock.

“Come on in Bud, I baked some bread, the casserole

is warm.” Secret family recipe

and my poem about the death of Ben. This was a persona poem with lots of criteria (that makes it awkward for me) For instance the persona had to recount a dream....

The Bill and Ben

I am the dream of men

who prize “cheap” and “efficient.”

Men who gather the goods of the world into their own

very private piles.

They mete out so much for an hour.

The smallest number sufficing for subsistence.

Their glutted stores confer permission not to see

the need of those whose sweat and deferred dreams

have built their empires.

I have never seen these men.

I am too low

-a dollar bill.

When I was fresh,

a humble, smiling woman

asked for five hundred of us from the bank.

Fan-folded and wired to a branch like palm fronds

we bloomed, green and hopeful,

her wedding gift to her daughter.

Fruit of months of her careful toil.

Once, I was a tip for pie and coffee.

The waitress gathered me gladly

she later spent me

to slip into a movie’s digitized dream.

I was payment to a child,

for a hundred dandelions plucked from the lawn.

That price has not changed in a generation.

I poked from the clown card

on a four year old’s birthday.

His mother said she would keep me safe in her purse,

but she needed to buy food.

Now they’ll burn me.

I was in the pocket of a man who went mad.

He had dreams he could not achieve.

He couldn’t care for his Down Syndrome son.

Donning a wig, he robbed a bank-

took hostages and shot wildly at pursuing police.

Bullets riddled him and he died.

I am stained with the red ink of his life.

You can’t unsee it, so fire awaits me.

Before I burn to ash I have a dream.

I’m a green leaf on a tree

under the natural sun.

Unowned and free.

 I may share more writings from this class. Haven't decided. Right now I should go to bed

Fall break, a rather overblown term I think for what amounts to two days off of school is coming up. I could use those two days in so many ways. Attack the mound of laundry- Study for the chemistry test our professor is allowing a re-take on. I am score 94% but he added 10 points (TEN POINTS!!!!!) to everyone's grade. Still, the low was 33%! Anyway, yes I could have used the days "responsibly" and I was wanted at work (I used to work Saturdays, now I work Sat, Sun and a half day on Mondays and this is not optimal for me) Part of the reason I made a split second decision to use BOTH my "Fall Break"" days on a totally hedonistic road trip was the fact that I seldom go anywhere and I did not want to be available to bail out the problem at work caused by poor interactions skills.That was part of it. There are other factors, such as my recent acquisition of a Wenzel picnic tote. Those who know me and my Picnic Madness phase may or may not wonder. I want to go on picnics. I want to visit places I love. I am totally fine with traveling alone although I have invited some ghosts with me on this trip. I do not know if they will come. Either way it is fine. I am going to Dead Horse Point. It is majestically beautiful there and I crave that beauty. My very favorite memories of the places are watching a turkey buzzard soar on thermals for a very long time. It was beautiful and I had a deeply spiritual feeling. Also, I went out on a ledge (very uncharacteristic, believe me!) A fall would have meant gruesome death but I survived and somewhere there is a picture. So, Dead Horse Point then Moab. good memories of Moab too. I may have time for Arches, if so good! I do plan to going to see Hole in the Rock.

Arches is not too far away. The hile to Delicate Arch is one I can do. Don't know if there will be time

My route will take me through Kodachrome

I had wanted to stay at The Silver Sage in Moab, which is not pretty but it is cheap and serviceable, but it was sold out! I ended up booking a cottage which was more expensive and then even MORE expensive with a rather downplayed fee. Oh well, what's done is done. OOh update! I changed my cabin to this one in Blanding so my route will change. Need to update THAT I think Fisher Towers is near Blanding but this is "my" cabin for a night http://www.canyonlandslodging.com/vacation-rentals/mustang-mesa/VERY cool looking cabin! Wish I had more time (and more money) 

I'll be in line for Canyonlands

Would love to see Fisher Towers

 Red Canyon is between Bryce and Zion closer to Bryce but I got messed up here somehow

Pretty sure I go through Fish Lake National Forest

Then Bryce, which is my favorite "nearby" park

 Then Zion and home

I am looking so forward to this little tiny trip! There's so much more to see than I can. The person who changed my cabin was telling me all kinds of trips. This is not for from Mesa Verde either. God I would love to travel more

Last night I got a text from a friend along the lines of "Remember so and so we used to work with? It looks like the drugs got her" There was an arrow, one that I pushed though it was alone there with no context. Nothing happened. I texted my friend back asking her if it was an obituary. I told her I had JUST been thinking of this lady and hoping she was doing well. Weird how that happens, way too often to think of it as coincidence. And we hadn't contact except once after she left the place we mutually worked at. Except once. I saw her in a store in scrubs and went to say hi (I liked this person) She said she was working as a CNA and going to school trying to get into the nursing program. She was having trouble with some of the classes. I thought she'd make a very good nurse. She seems a very caring person. My friend texted me back and said not an obituary. An arrest. Many counts of forgery and a count of abuse of a vulnerable adult. My heart sank. I wondered what had happened. My friend had suggested drug abuse and that's likely. This woman had been through surgeries and her neck was left tweaked. She took and got addicted to painkillers. I think it was Oxycontin. She'd fall asleep at work sometimes and she was always in some degree of pain. She was trying to wean off the painkillers. When I saw her in the store I never thought of a link between healthcare and access to drugs. I don't KNOW if that was part of what happened here. She looked good. And she was a compassionate person. Anyway, several local friends posted the more detailed story to facebook today. I don't think they knew her. I think the posting was along the lines of tongue clucking disgust at something a local had done (she confessed) And my picture of her changed but not to the degree of the comments posted along with that story of yet another terrible crime. People are wishing her eternal damnation. I remember the person. Yes, she made awful choices but I am one of those people who really do believe that the health or illness of a society affects the whole population. This was a money crime. The people posting this story aren't posting about the bigger money crimes that have created the economic gap that leads to desperate acts. And how about the lack of insurance that may have kept this woman from good treatment or the goals of Big Pharma which have nothing to do with healing or wellness. I think of my former co-worker, who I liked. Who i know loved her family, her dogs, and her church. I wonder what the people in her life are doing and feeling. I expect the dogs love her just as much. We are a punitive people. I read what I think is a very good book called Moral Tribes and it addressed the concept of punishment as a part of our morality. I am not sure there is not a better way than demonizing people who have done admittedly terrible things. This is the second person I have known to be recently in the news locally for crimes I wouldn't have suspected them of committing. The other one was shot dead for his transgression. These crimes are nothing to ignore but we need to have more care (I think) for both the victims and the perpetrators. Heal if there can be healing.