Blocks are HERE!

Mixed Bag

Yesterday I finished "The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit" about a man who at age 20, climbed into his car after work one day, embarked on a roadtrip from Maine to FL then back up north, abandoned his car at a likely looking spot and then vanished into the woods. For 27 years. He did steal necessities from nearby cabins and parks which eventually resulted in his arrest. I found it to be a very interesting story. I have hermit fantasies, but no survival skills to back the urge up. This guy was incredibly apt at surviving.

One thing I love about my (very abbreviated now) job of grooming dogs at home is that I get to listen to audio books. I have so many  good and pleasant clients and get to listen to so man books! Her are some pics of dogs I've done in the last couple of days. As well as a pic of Addie, who I will do today.

This is Addie. I'll do her today. the first time she came, which was her first ever groom she acted like I was Satan incarnate. I was very surprised they left her. I've never had a dog react to me like that! But, that over, she's been a sweetheart ever since!

This is Taffy. You could not ask for a sweeter, cuter little dog! I charge less for her because she is so easy to do. She's a joy!

This is Lily. I love Lily!!!! They just open the car door and she runs to me, She was just a bath yesterday, but I did a little neatening.  I see I could have done better on her head. Her "mom
" and I met in Chemistry class. I love Annie. Annie's dad dropped her off and picked her up yesterday. I love him too. He made me laugh when he went straight to the backyard to talk with the workers and Bruce

This is Bella. She is a VERY sweet girl. She came in matted to the skin so she's bald now, but it will grow. The little girl who loves her. I'd guess she's 6 or 7 liked Bruce's prints I have up in the groomery and she picked Bella's bows and bandana

This is Nino. I love Nino. He's a character! 

And this is Max. He's one of mine. He's starting to look scruffy again, which is good because I manicured him too much here. Bruce and I call him The Scottish guy. He's hilarious. He's smart and self directed. He likes to kill mice and ruin PJ's toy time. Yesterday he demonstrated that he can get out of the little containment fence Bruce no fence in the backyard. This is very bad. Because he did it right in front of the girls, who could follow. And yesterday, we were told the blocks for our wall are still in the oven!!! I have no idea how long we are going to be fenceless!

March 16,2017 was a good day

I just realized I missed the goal of adding my drop to the inundation of Trump. Wow, Time flies! I never even know what date it is unless I look at my indispensable schedule book. It was lost yesterday. Bruce found it in my bed (where I'd already looked) at about 11pm. People contact me at all hours for appointments. I was terrified the book would not be found and I'd have no idea what I was supposed to be doing for the next two months. I am truly grateful Bruce found it! Today, he presented me with a heart of malachite and pyrite. I love malachite. Now I'm trying to think of a place to put it where I will see it daily and I won't LOSE it!

I took today "off" (I never have any true days off anymore) to take my mom to get her labs done. But I had so many other things to do that I was out and about much of the day and did not realize I had forgotten to set the car clock ahead for Spring. I got her to the Dr's office about 17 minutes before they closed but they declined to test her. So, more on tomorrow's plate. She did look really pretty in her new clothes.

Much was done in the back yard today, the AMAZING St George City people were here and I will post pictures.. We also had 2 wall guys here (the boss comes back tomorrow) We're supposed to have 4 wall guys tomorrow. The wall should be finished they say now, by the end of next week.

I called to commend the St George City guys. They were really truly awesome. The pictures aren't in order. But remember, we just called to see what kind of leeway we needed to give the old pole. They OFFERED to move it. And they we nice, professional, let me take pictures, tightened he Santa Clara power lines so that they aren't resting on the shed, offered to hail off the old pole or leave it ad when I chose to have it left, they cut it up and stacked it as firewood!

Today, the wall guys also hauled away the wood from the old fence.

Not meaning to be depressing, but mortality has been on my mind a lot lately. My mom has serious kidney disease, I am hoping she has some more good years to heal some from what her life had become. I think that's a reasonable hope. I think she wants to live as long as it doesn't mean extensive medical intervention. I'm with her on that. Neither Bruce nor I am in good health and I find myself wondering who among us will go first. I'm hoping for my mom. Not because I want her to die, but because I'm starting to think the purpose of MY life might be to get her out of hers in the best way possible. Not the purpose I would have chosen, but it's looking like it may be that. Bruce coughs like the long term smoker he is. And has heart problems, so he's in the running. And I throw up every night, rather horribly, unless I take kidney damaging pills. Right now I am not taking the pills. Yesterday, Bruce mentioned how much gray is in my hair now and how fast that happened. I practically could feel it happening in the nightmare that was California. But yes, I am feeling old. And while I am so happy that the house is getting needed renovation, and that I hope it will be the very pleasant spot I envision pretty soon, I smile to myself wondering how long we will get to enjoy it. I hope for some time. But I am feeling extremely mortal. And while I am happy to sink money into the house, even if I am NOT around long I would not be happy to see medical expenses suck money away. I figure, for myself (and everyone else here seems to have made the same decision) that we won't be fighting hard, at least financially, to preserve our lives.

I usually am up by 5:30 at the latest to take Toby out and check my mom's blood sugar and bring her some juice and water. (Then I go back to bed. I do not sleep well and try to get as much sleep as I can) This morning I didn't wake up till almost 8 am! I was in the midst of an epic dream concerning the greatest pain in my life. As I've said before, it's not resolveable, but apparently I'm going to work on it all my life. Last night's version was different in that I was my own advocate. Usually in this conflict I am looking for how I was at fault. In this version I was seeing the extraordinary measures I took to preserve the relationship and the honesty I had in confronting what was happening, even though it devastated my worldview and I truly never have recovered. But in this version I was kinder to myself. I was glad.

Today the sliding glass back door was repaired. I am very grateful because it was paubful for me to open and sometimes I couldn't budge it. Now it opens easily.

The power pole is going to be moved sometime within the next 3 days. I would like to watch it, but I doubt I'll be able because I have NO days off. And people are getting kind of pushy about scheduling. It's hard for me to say no, but I need to because I am feeling like death. I'm making dinner for my mom but I haven't eaten anything since breakfast yet I am still throwing up. Not going to chance eating dinner.

Underneath it all I am feeling like whatever happens happens.

Starting Projects

We've been starting work on the house. We had the leak in the ceiling caused by improper installation of the HVAC unit fixed (we hope)...it hasn't rained since)

Now the emphasis is on the backyard. This is because we really need to do something about the fencing, My mom and I want a wall, Bruce would be happy with a fence, being as that should last for 30 years and I don't think any of US will. But....a wall has a longer lifespan. Problem is getting someone to build the thing! We thought we had a person lined up, but once the yard was cleared (no small feat, it was a mess) the mason is not returning calls. Here are some pictures of the back yard as it stands now.

I want to be spending a lot more time outside than I am now. My idea for the backyard is to be a sanctuary where all of us will enjoy being. I want a garden, a compost bin, a chicken area (Bruce hates this idea, but I love fresh eggs) several seating areas with a fire space, a water feature, nice lighting and music and maybe misters. really pretty plantings (probably xeriascapes) bird feeders  a grassy area, Bruce sees fescue and pine trees He also wants a big shed. He called the city of St George about the power pole in our backyard. That is not owned by Santa Clara, it runs power out the the Shivwits Indian reservation. They were really nice and promptly (!!!) came out to have a look. They are going to replace the pole and move it much nearer the fence (wall) That may take several weeks. But we shouldn't have to worry about it again in our lifetimes.

Here are some ideas. We also wants lots of succulents and some ornamental trees Bruce had the very nice idea of purring up 3 big trellises as a privacy screen. They'd be planted with Trumpet vines which attract hummingbirds. My mom really misses her hummingbirds.A friend suggested Bruce design a mandala out of succulents.

I miss writing, I feel like I don't have enough time. Finding more time for things I really want to do is on my list of of priorities.

Things are going well here and that makes me happy. My mom and Bruce, who had never met prior to her moving in like each other. My dogs have not killed her dogs. The dogs are getting along pretty well. Max would like me to be his human, he gets jealous of PJ and sometimes acts on that. If he gets jealous of Jetty Lee she has convinced him to keep quiet about it.

My mom has been grateful and generous and she is not longer saying she wishes she would die every day. She seems healthier to me. We've established a primary care Dr and a nephrologist. I'll be taking her to an eye Dr next week. Her labs have improved a little but according to the Drs there is not a LOT of improvement in the cards. The best we can hope for is stability. She is happy and seems very clear mentally. I'm grateful.

We've formed a relationship with a lawyer and established a trust and a living will. He's helping us find a financial planner and that's been an interesting process. We have one more to listen to, but unless he is VERY impressive I think I know who we'll choose. My mom paid my student loans so I am within $600 of being debt free, unless I owe for taxes. Part of her money will be used to remodel and refurbish the house and we're starting with the yards. Bruce has been interviewing clean up crews (we will be taking out most of the trees and bushes. That's a pretty big job. He's talking to three more people tomorrow and by then I hope he will pick one. We're having a block wall put in to replace the old, rotting cedar fence. And then both yards will be landscaped. I'm envisioning a park-like back yard with lots of flowers. I think my mom will enjoy that, she really misses her humming birds. I'd enjoy it too and I will like spending time with her without her TV on. That thing is on 24 hours a day! But I am pleased that's she has started to turn out the light at night. She has been sleeping with a light on for years.

We have so much stuff to go through in the house that it will take a little time to get that into a workable position, but Bruce is also interviewing general contractors. He wants to get a feel for someone he feels can do a good job before explaining the extent of "the List" Probably we will start with replacing the roof which has been leaking due to bad installation of a HVAC unit. I'm sort of scared to see what the damage is there.I'm getting an estimate for solar panels and batteries.

We also have an infestation of mice and I know we are not the only ones on the block to have this problem. Bruce has become adept at catching them and I transport them to a far off field where they probably die. But we think it's time to call in professionals once we've gone through the excess of stuff so any holes can be blocked.

My mom teases me about my cooking. She is well satisfied with breakfasts but dinners are not always up to snuff. Part of this is because she only seems to want variations of hamburger. She won't eat chicken and doesn't much care for pork. Once in awhile she will eat fish. I was getting a wide variety of vegetables but she really just wants the mixed vegetables with corn and peas and carrots and green beans. She had a potassium problem and that has restricted man of her favorite foods. Bruce tells me I should force her to eat right. I'd be more inclined to do that to HIM. My mom is an adult and both she and I are aiming for quality of life over quantity. Hence, I've made some of her favorite foods even if she "shouldn't" eat them and she is pretty reasonable about not overdoing.

She doesn't go out very often but she has "lost power" a couple of times. I am pretty sure this is not a blood sugar problem since I make sure she eats well. It's likely a blood PRESSURE problem, but it could still kill her. She is very frank speaking about death but I'd like her to have some happy time. I got a transport wheelchair and I leave it in the trunk. She is not hep about using it but it makes me feel much better to have it if she becomes weak.

This entry is more like a laundry list than I wanted it to be. I thought I might focus more on spirit. I just finished a book called Dying To Be Me and it made a lot of sense to me. I will be revisiting those ideas and hoping to change my course to be more open to adventure and inspiration and authenticity and kindness.