About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

I am wondering if I am somehow unfair, whether this great and abiding contempt I have for male humans is somehow excusable, if somehow it is just not their fault. But I think our culture has been more directly shaped by men than it has by women and nah, I think men are by and large contemptible. What, you may ask prompts this conclusion? Well there's a list of men in my life who have affected me. And I try and try to squelch my feelings and excuse them on one basis or another (and there haven't been a large number of men deeply in my life, it's just that they have had and used the potential t be so destructive) But the inspiration for this particular rant relates to a longtime and very good friend. She has been in a long term relationship for 16 years. They were "engaged" Now, she, like mostt women I know have had more than one destructive relationship. Her first sexual encounter was a rape. Her first husband cheated on her and the second one more or less sponged off her in every way a person can. There were some minor relationships between him and this latest atrocity. From my pov, she acted more than ethically as far as I can judge. When she met this guy he was married, but separated and divorcing. She declined to date him until he was divorced and could prove it. Their relationship was always odd to me. He had a habit of just leaving to go to Florida without even any notice, literally and giving her some reason or other. The last time he said he was transferred at his job.. Oh no, he wasn't unhappy wit the relationship, oh no, there was no one else. He was living with an old man from his work. He was trying to get transferred "home" He faithfully sent $300 a week for the past 5 absent years. They conducted their relationship long term. She wrote me last night that he has sent $78,000. He recently came "home" for a work thing and he was booked into a hotel. She felt something was wrong and even though they spent a couple of days together (and she was a bootie call) she finally decided to check out his story. Well, she discovered that he married his ex-wife 5 years ago. ow, you'd think they guy would be honest. She gave him multiple opportunities to tell her the truth. She used to be a phone tech who brought home about $100 k a year. But she had the opportunity to retire and he encouraged her to do so and she did. That whole industry has changed and while she has a retirement with benefits it is not enough to keep her in her house alone. And she trusted this man. In my way of seeing he has treated her like a sexual and emotional object, lying and depriving her of her years and her trust and her security (if there is such a thing as security) What is with men that they so objectify women? She could have handled the truth. But no... in my view, men want what they want and they will do what they have to to get it. I do not understand this. I never will.