About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Today was the first day of a new semester at school. I started the day by mailing a friend in Bellingham WA three loaves of pumpkin bread, then I went to the school bookstore to pick up my pre-ordered books. While I was there I also bought a $99 digital recorder. I did this because it has Dragon software which SAYS it will translate my chemistry teacher's voice (and folks, his voice is a DOOZY) into text! If this actually works i will be thrilled to tears! I had a little time after finishing up at the bookstore so I thought I would go get my parking permit. The fiasco of that process pretty much sums up my overall impression of my school. The classes have been better than the school so I don't want to give the impression I haven't enjoyed THEM, but the tenor of the school is dronish and vexingly stupid. They had a HUGE line of students (and I assume faculty, because they also require faculty to purchase these parking permits) and they had TWO people processing them. One of those was dedicated solely to processing cash, check or online requests but it was a single line and one did not know this till one was very near the counters. I could not stay that first attempt, I would have been late to my chemistry class. I intend to do MUCH better in this round of chemistry. First off, it's not a requirement I need to satisfy anymore and paradoxically that makes me more intent and interested. Also, I do remember some of it and have an idea of what will be expected. After chemistry I went and had a good lunch (and smiled that my waiter remembered me even to half my name) then I went back and braved that awful line for the parking permit. Wish I'd known I could have skipped it by bringing cash! Then to the library for a short stint on the computers while waiting for my creative writing class. That class was pretty well attended, and the teacher is the one who auditioned for those who would decide if she was hired in my poetry class last semester. She remembered me too and even made a joke. One exercise we did in Creative Writing today was called the 6 word memoir. If this page was actually interactive with people who commented I would be curious to see what you'd come up with. Examples were:

Procrastination. Nothing finished or always late.

Alcoholic mother loved me the most.

I still make coffee for two.

Born in California. Then nothing happened.

Still have not learned to swim.

I was impressed by this exercise! We only had a few minutes and none of mine were as good as these bu t here are my responses. I might try this again sometime with more time to consider

luminous generosity swathed in goofy unbeauty.

life lesson: predators prize the innocent.

surface skimmer wanted to go deep.

sometimes I regret the forever things.

fierce enough to be gently peaceful.

God jokes- funny, but with thorns.

How would you sum up your life in 6 words?

There was a girl in my class. I am thinking she may be Navajo. She was worried about not having the book. Her financial aid isn't expected till next week. After class, I asked if she wanted to go to the bookstore. I bought her book. I bought ALL her books. I've bought books for people who seemed to be struggling every semester I have been in school. This girl was very grateful. I don't do it for gratitude. I do it because not having what you need when you need it is very disheartening and it just seems wrong to me for people to be in that predicament just because they don't have money. After class I went and got Bruce some chicken and dumplings and some money I have borrowed from him. I came home and did a little homework, talked briefly to my friend Jaime who did get the bread i mailed him and tried the pumpkin bread so he could tell me it was good. His niece Twila is not feeling well today. I guess chemotherapy and radiation 5 days a week for 5 weeks (she's just started) might wear on your mood. Especially with no insurance. After that I started putting feelers out for someone who can plumb me a grooming tub and install some extra electrical outlets. I've decided that i will not get my tooth fixed. Will not get glasses, will not get my car fixed or any of the other things on a long list I would like to accomplish. I am going to get the grooming business up and viable. Tomorrow morning I will check into the business license.

And now I think I will go to bed and heartily hope NOT to be haunted again tonight. I need the sleep.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Summary of a Summer

I really enjoyed this summer. I didn't take any classes, but I didn't work too much either and while I didn't travel or go to the Utah Shakespearean Festival or anything like that I did do a good bit of leisure reading and just resting. How I wish I was always so free!

There was a big list of goals I DIDN'T accomplish...cleaning, organizing (so much of those two to do) nor did I get a check up for either my hands or my terrible stomach. And I didn't study chemistry or juice..... I should have done all those things.

But I did do a fundraiser for 2 friends and donated almost $800 (almost $400 apiece) And I did decide to start a business grooming out of my garage and took steps to implement that. And I did spend HOURS helping a friend pass her last required English class (she is so English phobic it is not funny! But now she's done!) And I did other good things

School starts Monday. I am excited and anxious. I also wonder if i should be continuing as it seems clearer and clearer to me I am done working for others. I love learning, I love the people I meet, but is it justifiable?

There are other things on my mind but I am still baking (made pumpkin bread and zucchini bread for a friend) and some smells like it is done now : )

Sunday, August 10, 2014

ok...I am miffed. and I feel insulted, by whom I am not sure. My own subconscious? Some divine sender of dreams? Dante's dreams took him to hell, Purgatory and Heaven. Bruce's dreams take him on wild self indulgent adventures. Mine.... well I was in a bathroom AGAIN. Not just a bathroom but a communal bathroom with little privacy and sharp eyed dowagers making disapproving moues of their mouths over the amount of toilet paper I use. To make it worse, I had, at some point in there, a string of softly pink pearls in my mouth. I don't even think they were MY pearls. I think I was trying to keep them from touching any surface in the bathroom. But c'mon! In what state would I be willing to stick someone else's alleged pearls in my MOUTH in a bathroom? What possible message is there in that that does not distill to just "EWWWWWW"

In another part of the dream, or maybe it was a totally separate dream, I am not sure, I was in a rather pretty house with nice art and it was apparently mine, or at least where I lived. But some professor guy went on a rampage thinking I had taken his instruction booklet for some electronic device and  bashed art and destroyed "irreplaceable things"  I hadn't done it. But he was mad and maniacal and threatened bodily harm next. Over electronic instructions? The only good part was that I did some painting in that second dream. I did like that.

In other news I have a shih tzu coming soon. Overall I am disappointed with the response to my grooming fundraiser, I've only raised $298 apiece for each of my friends. but as a start to a grooming business it's pretty good. I am on the fence as to whether or not to quit my little office job. It's pretty easy, but there has been drama and I just cannot handle drama anymore. The other day I went sick, was starting to feel better, but then drama happened and I got VERY sick and had two dogs to groom when I got home. One poor dog I had to put up 3 times due to diarrhea that totally drained me. I think I would have been good without the instance of drama. I physically cannot take it anymore. And I really don't like working for anyone else as a subordinate. Dog grooming out of the garage seems happier to me.

There are other things on my mind...School starts soon. I haven't studied any chemistry. I want to play. I hate this computer. My phone's time and all computers I use show different times. The computers are all the same. The phone is about half an hour slow. I am trying to help my neighbors rehome their dog. Other stuff that confuses me. Bruce has been especially sweet and romantic which means the world to me. I guess I'd better get ready for the shih tzu. Then I work from 3-9 tonight. I cannot ever feel rested. I hate that so much! Twila learned her tumor is too big to operate on now but at least it hasn't spread, they are hoping to shrink it. Another girl, even younger, has cancer and she's got a young family. A 10 month old... She'd been breast cancer free for 2 years but now it's back and has riddled her body.

I am just stream of consciousness at this point.

Friday, August 1, 2014

I have tears in my eyes and a numb feeling. My friend Twila, one of two friends I am doing a dog grooming fundraiser for, was diagnosed with cervical cancer this morning. She is a lot younger than me. I remember her as a sassy teen who started down a not so good path and changed it all around, becoming a woman I very much respect. She has no insurance facing this because she takes care of her uncle, my good friend Jaime who is paraplegic and has other health issues. There have been several times I think Jaime would have died had Twila not been there with him on protracted hospital stays. Jaime is never really well anymore and Twila's daughter just had surgery and her granddaughter was just in the hospital also.

Twila's tumor is apparently too large for surgery so she will be doing radiation treatments. I have a handful of people I consider examples of what i would like to be like. Twila is one of them. If you happen to read this and you believe positive energy can affect outcomes please send energy to Twila and her family. If you can donate some money to help her her daughter has set up a page to help defray medical expenses