I was getting my mom dressed for dialysis and she asked. "Where are you going?" I said "You're going to dialysis" She said, "Oh, I thought I was done with that." I said, "Did you think I would just take you off dialysis without talking to you about it?!" She thought the dialysis crew was kicking her out. I assured her that that was not the case, that she would be the one to determine whether she would continue with dialysis or not. She said, "but what about what the nurse said?" I told her the nurse was telling me that her health has declined in important ways and that she expects it will decline more and quickly. I went over this in more detail with her. I felt s bad that she thought she was just done. I suggested we have someone come to talk about hospice and that I wasn't suggesting she choose that now, but there might be a time when she feels too bad to want to go to dialysis anymore and she should know what hospice is. I asked her if she wanted to set up  an appointment to have someone come to talk to her about it. She doesn't now. I asked her if she didn't remember that I told her that when I went for lunch from now on I'd be going home to pick Bruce up so he could help her into the car since I can't do that anymore. She didn't remember. She thought she was at the end of her rope. She's probably been very scared but she's been sweet and stoic. I think she was greatly relieved. I told her again that to save any mobility she has left she would need to physically do things and that I didn't know what she could preserve or maybe get back. She doesn't have the oomph to exercise though, so I think her nurse is right about decline. When we sat her up today she sounded very congested and she hadn't sounded congested at all when she was laying down. This makes me think she could contract pneumonia. They weren't too concerned about it at the dialysis center. Our lawyer came to visit her at dialysis today. He said he thought she looked better than I described. They did labs today so I should have more information when I get those results. I also need to get a lab set up to check to see if the C-diff is really gone this time. Bruce just makes my mom happy. I am so grateful for him. And it's hard for him to leave the house, but he will do it for her.

In house news, the windows will be here tomorrow. And I picked out the granite (it was less expensive than the Corian I was planning on) and the flooring and the tile for the kitchen. Clark got the fridge and the sink, so we are progressing on the house. Clark also offered to help with my mom and because Bruce is agoraphobic and I'm afraid he will hurt himself helping my mom I think we should take Clark up on the offer if he's there on dialysis days.

The dialysis nurse asked to speak to me privately today. She said from what she has seen in the last 2 weeks (my mom has lost more than 12 pounds, is increasingly lethargic and is very physically weak) that I can expect a rapid and serious decline in her condition. The nurse has been a hospice nurse so I am guessing this is probably accurate. Mentally my mom is still very much here and I don't think she's quite ready to die. I feel so bad for her.