So, I am feeling terrible. Today was a dialysis day and it went ok till it was time to go home. I'm already wheeling my mom out and trying to tow her oxygen and balancing a pile of belongings like pillow, blanket etc. I can get her out of the car pretty efficiently but in, especially after dialysis is a totally different story. She has little muscle tone. She cannot stand independently, she needs a LOT of support. She cannot walk. I had a gait belt on her today because on Tuesday when I tried to get her in the car she ended up laying on her face butt hanging out of the car, legs out of the car and unable to get in any way vertical. Fortunately, a taxi driver who had seen us in that state once before saw us and came to help for which I was deeply grateful. I sent him a card and $40 this morning. He had suggested I stand in front of her and walk her to the car, have her pivot and sit down on the seat and then sort of spin her in. I tried. What happened is that as soon as she was even in front of the car door opening she lost all power and started going down. It's like she sees a surface and her body just lays down. I can't pick her up (describing this to Bruce he says things like "Can't never could" and I chew my teeth in an effort not to physically attack him) So today, no one in sight to help she has her face on the car seat but she's mostly out of the car. I am screaming that I can't pick her up ad she needs to try to sit up so I can try to muscle her into the car or at least somewhat onto the seat. She can't and she's very sensitive to my screaming which is sheer panic because i feel I am going to have to call 911 to get her in the car. I know my mom. she is feeling guilty and like there's something she should be doing, but she CAN'T and somehow I manage to get part of her butt on the seat then into the car but she is not erect and I have used all my strength and right now I am very sore and know I will hurt worse in the morning. All the way hme I am apologizing to her bu that doesn't do a lot of good. she says she will get better which breaks my heart. I say we need to schedule a van to take her in her wheelchai. She adamantly does not want to do this. But if not one or both of us is going to be seriously injured or die. I can see having a stroke in the fucking parking lot.