About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

I was up all night after reading a note from a long time friend. Her note was almost apologetic but it asked for prayers because of some things that are happening in her life. One is that her nephew, her favorite nephew when he was a child, who had been in strange and disturbing trouble in his young teens, then was diagnosed with schizophrenia at  16 committed suicide. His mom, my friend's sister found him.

The next part of the note talked about her sister's divorce. the marriage lasted longer than I would have thought it would so that didn't surprise me much. But then she said her own manfriend (I am at a loss for words with many modern relationships) has been distant lately. Well yeah! He's distant! He's been living in FL for several YEARS now, having left without notice for the second or third time in the relationship and just MOVED. They've been in contact through the internet and occasional phone calls and even more occasional meetings.  My friend was one of the most capable, independent women I've ever known. But men! We twist ourselves into unrecognizable shapes hoping for the love of some man. It's a man's world too. I often wonder what life would have been like for me if I'd been lesbian. I don't think I hate men but I do distrust them. I have lived with a man who has been honorable in love for 12 years now. I still wonder when that will suddenly change. Not fair to him perhaps, but damage.

I have not written back to my friend yet. I want to say something that will comfort her, but I really don't pray anymore,,. to whom would I pray? Not the patriarchal Father in Heaven I was taught to believe in. But  need to think of something because she is hurting.

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