About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

I am supposed to be doing a biology assignment. And some other stuff. And I will. I'm sure I will. But right now I am thinking about stuff. 

Today I noticed stories on Facebook about a local bank robbery. Schools were put into lockdown. There was a picture of a guy in what looked like a Santa beard. He apparently had a shot gun and took 2 girls or women hostage. Not long after there was a report that the suspect was arrested. Then a report that he was dead. I wasn't closely following the story. I was sorry for the situation but it didn't seem to really impact my life. 

Not long ago, a friend texted me asking me to call her. She said it was an emergency. I wondered what had happened. Her life seems so full of disasters just waiting to happen and she is so brave in dealing with things. I braced myself and called her. 

She was sobbing and the sound was broken-hearted. It sounded like someone had died. I was hoping with all my might it wasn't one of her kids. I was marveling at what was communicated in that crying. That little observer in me was saying "It is just not in you anymore to cry like that" That made me sad, but I think it's true. And in those split seconds  I envied the rawness and depth of her feeling. She asked, through her tears, if i had heard about the bank robbery. I said yes. She'd, after all been posting about it on her page. Well. She had just learned she knew the robber. She had a long term friendship with him. Her sister was once engaged to him. He had been to my house and did a lot of work in our yard. I was shaken, but nothing like my friend. She was howling in mourning. "They killed him" she kept saying. She said he had needed money for his 2 sons (one of whom has Down Syndrome and is about 20 now) She had told me before that he was at least once suicidal. Today she told me that he never would have hurt anyone, that he just wanted people to be happy. now, I don't know if he would or wouldn't have hurt anyone. He did take hostages but apparently he let them go. My friend said people reported hearing a lot of shots. I included an article in this post by someone who lives in the area where he was shot. I am wondering if the police just killed him (that seems to be a trend nowadays - no trial, just kill a suspect) or whether he committed suicide by police, or what. I just know and have a heavy feeling that someone I sort of knew, who had really good points and some dark ones too -is dead. And he was young. And people loved him. And he made some terrible choices. There's a little more that I have heard but it feels disrespectful to go there. I am thinking about my friend. Her sister and surely about his sons. I am thinking of the schoolkids who were in lockdown for a long time today and for the hostages and for the police. I do believe the root of this was money and not having enough. I didn't see this person as greedy, ah to say hw I did see him is not really based on enough to say it. So I won't. But this is SAD


Today a desperate man died. You see just this morning I was being down on myself for some financial situations in my life where I was thinking I could have made some better choices. Don’t get me wrong; I am not doing badly but just wishing that things were better. Well suddenly we started hearing reports of a bank robbery in progress. The suspect took some hostages and dumped his car in the subdivision where my house is, leaving the hostages, and running on foot. He had guns and was firing shots at officers. My nephews who go to the schools nearby were put on a full lockdown. At the elementary school all the kids were under their desks while the teachers covered the windows with papers. They brought in helicopters and began searching for this guy. They ended up finding him at the end of my street a few houses down from where I live. There is a field where I walk my dog and he was hiding in the trees on the edge of the field. He began shooting at the police officers and so they had to protect themselves by shooting this man. I am sitting here looking down my road and seeing all the investigators standing around this man. I can’t help but wonder what he must have been going through. What he needed money so bad for that he died for it. I feel very sad for him. Was he the victim of addiction, unemployment, or what? I feel so terrible for him even though he tormented an entire community today. There are no winners here. I feel like we all have so much to be grateful for and I tend to forget that. If you are reading this post you are probably much better off than you give yourself credit for. As I type this on my computer, sitting in my house, eating my pizza, I am feeling a whole lot more grateful for the decisions that I have made in my life.

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