Well, my mom has re-established hot water. Presumably installed by a licensed plumber. I didn't ask if there was additional cost to the $350 arrangement her grandson previously made (and I am not sure he didn't try to install it himself) I have no idea what the water heater cost but I do know she wanted 50 gallon and he insisted on 60 gallon and did not arrange for Home Depot to install it. I don't know if that would have been the fastest, best way to get the job done.
When I look at it, it's not like I am an expert at living. Especially in the areas she really needs help in. I am not known to be practical or handy or good at physical work. She needs skills along those lines. These thoughts and the probability that her grandson would have to leave if I went down there when he does have some skills she could use. I have others and I know my motivations, strengths and weaknesses. If I went down there i would have to quit my little $10 an hour job which does mean that I would be even less "self sufficient" than I am now which is not very. My grooming business would decline. Bruce might need to get a job (he contributes now to our household but it is from a limited fund) I have no idea how long I'd need to be there and if I could persuade her to come back here where I have some idea of how to make a little money. I don't even know if it is best that she move. I mean, that house is huge and it is a mess and her climbing stairs is not a thing that makes my sleep come easily. I have asked her to at least move her bedroom downstairs but she says climbing the stairs is "good for her" I told her exercise might be good but it would be better on a flat surface. So I am still sifting whether what i do is in her best interest. There are a lot of considerations and I can't help but think that what is important to her, most important to her, is autonomy. She may not be doing the best job and it's not even the way she wants it but it is a culmination of her decisions. And I truthfully don't think she's mentally incompetent unless she has been so for years and years. Then again, there's the question, would I do any better by her? Yes, she would eat better. Yes, I could take her wherever she needed to go whenever she needed to go there. Yes, if she let me, I could try to get her house organized, renovated and sold, because to afford renovation would mean she couldn't afford to live there. She's gong to be 80 January 1st. I wish I was financially able to go there AND support myself. I wish she saw my wishes for her as good for her. I am afraid I will do the wrong thing.