- I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.
Monday, April 11, 2016
I wanted to call my mom today. good and early. The last time we talked she started coughing on the phone and she had to hang up. She said she'd call back but she didn't. I asked her about that today. She says when she's on the phone she coughs. Then she said she feels like she might have pneumonia. At that point I asked if I should come down. Today. No she says, she is "not ready" I tried to get her to tell me what she thinks needs to be "ready" I asked her if she thought I would stay beyond what she wants me to, because originally I planned to stay as long as she needed me and until she was in a better place. I think that threatened her and I told her I could just come for awhile and leave when she asked. I asked if she had eaten today I don't think she had. At that point I knew I needed to make sure I could get things to her if I wasn't there. My nephew wasn't there and she says they are not speaking. I asked her what all she needed. I asked her what she would like to eat. For the meal, she said she'd like some Marie Callender's Salisbury steak with mashed potatoes, carrots and broccoli.OK. I asked if she's like salad or pie. No to either. I reminded her she could store those for tomorrow in case my nephew wasn't there again. No, she didn't want that. Ok. I was repeating to myself her way...her way... I asked what she was afraid of if I came down. She hesitated and told me I can be a bully. I have NEVER thought of myself as a bully. (Bruce was laughing in the background, he can see it he says, not a mean bully but strong willed and know it allish) She said my way might be better than her way. She didn't add, "but it's my life" I heard it anyway. I'm trying, but to me it seems like she is in Hell. She mentioned she'd like some Vick's Vaporub and some cough medicine. She is not a person to take medicine, but then, she might have pneumonia. If SHE is saying that, I'd bet she does! I asked her what kind of cough medicine. She didn't know. I said I rarely use cough medicine either but when I do I like Nyquil because it knocks me out and I can sleep. She didn't want that. I said, ok a non drowsy formula. I told her I would call her back. I then attempted to find a drug store that would deliver. Nope So I figured I would try a delivery service. Only food under delivery services. So then I called a taxi service, they were not able to help! Finally Bruce suggested errand service and I finally found a place who would pick things up for my mom and take them to her and call me to charge it on my card. I told them I would pay at the places. But that proved to be only partly true. I could pay online with Marie Callender's but not with a drug store and they refused to take a payment over the phone. I finally thought I'd have to just send dinner and order cough medicine and Vick's online, not to be delivered today, but the delivery service person said they usually didn't, but under the circumstances, they'd pay for the medicine out of pocket and I could pay them back. By the time I had it all arranged I called my mom to make sure she didn't want anything else and to tell her what was going on. She said my nephew had come back and she could have him driver her. I said no, I need to find a way to get things to her reliably if she didn't want me there now, so I wanted to test this out. She agreed. I think she's pretty hungry because it took longer than I expected but I should be getting a call saying the things have been delivered any moment now. It's been an unexpectedly grueling day. She says she understands that I am worried. OF COURSE I'm worried! I asked her to call tonight or tomorrow to tell me how the service was. Did you know that Vick's Vaporub is now almost $17 for a 6 oz jar??? !!! That blows my mind! I need to see if that's standard or if CVS is just a ripoff