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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Thursday, June 18, 2015

Fighting a mix of wild anger an despair right now. Its immediate trigger it what is happening with Twila. I am just so depressed that this is happening to someone who has, for years, made love action. when I see the flurry of words on her page unbacked by action (as far as I can tell) it makes me furious. People seem to be pretty dispensable nowadays. Our government really does not care if we live or die, evidenced by poor health care. I was listening to an NPR story yesterday where a man had a colonscopy in Beverly Hills and was charge in excess of $12,000 for the procedure but because HE had good health insurance which disputed the amount it was reduced to six hundred something dollars.

If this is a recurrence of Twila's cancer as she has been told (but they can't biospy or do much testing because her platelets are so low she would not be able to stop bleeding- she's getting a transfusion but I don't know how long before they can really test.) She was on Cymbalta and apparently it can cause the low platelets, bruising and other symptoms she is having. I am hoping that might be the case but not very optimistic because she was told of three masses after a CAT scan. As she notes in her journal, recurrent cervical cancer is incurable I don't know if that is strictly true, but i do know that as she does NOT have good insurance it is probably de facto.

And me, well I a seething with disgust at people who mouth what they think are pretty words but who don't put actin behind it.

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