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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Symbols ?

Symbolism fascinates me. I think there are no coincidences. I think there are sometimes strange communications. Bruce just told me that for 3 days in à row he has seen a spider in the toilet water. He said it looks like the same spider each time. He thought I was putting them there.  But no, I don't think I've ever seen such a sight. And my response to spiders is usually to take them outside and let them go though yesterday I did vacuum up 2 black widows, I think a male and female, together in one web. They were in my groomery and near the tub. I am hoping they are alive in there and will be free when I empty the canister which I thought I would do today. But I slept till 11 am and had to be at work by 1, so I didn't get to it. Anyway, tomorrow I plan to look up symbolism for spiders, water and spiders in water. Maybe also three. I also mean to ask Bruce what he thinks it might mean. How odd it would be if it continued!

I wonder if it is related, or I should say how it is related to an experience I had last night. I found myself in a sensual, free state that I have not experienced for many years. Closest to whole I remember feeling because I was broken so early, in stages and so thoroughly that I don't really remember ever feeling whole. It was exhilarating, peaceful and powerful at once. It had an alone quality, like independence but also a strong yearning to share deep experience with another. It was very surprising. Again, I can't tell if it was a waking or sleeping state. I've been so tired lately but also restless and unable to sleep much or with a feeling of refreshment. Last night I did feel refreshed. I would like to feel that feeling again.

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