About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Friday, January 8, 2016

Had a setback today. Last estimate for the garage door. The guy called me first. he wanted me to bring my mom into the showroom. I said. "Well that won't work, she's 80 and I'm in Utah." My impression was a mafia guy who sold garage doors. I couldn't get my mom on the phone because I was getting circuit busy, but she called soon after he was there. It went worse than I expected it to. He told her flat out that he didn't want the job. Partially due, I think, to his curmudgeonly attitude and partially because (there's no way around this) we are currently talking Hoarder Home. I have not been in the garage. I can imagine. The garage door guy said, no, I couldn't. However she knows that it needs to be cleared to install garage doors. But this interaction put her back into a "I need to do this myself" mode and she just can't. She is frail. She used to be a can do kick ass woman who could and did do everything she took it into her mind to do. But those days are over. I again suggested going down to help. I am not capable of that job either but I can direct crews paid to do it. She does not want this. I tried to get her to hire the people for the yard cleanup but now she wants to clean stuff around the yard first. She is estimating a week before she calls them. I am now wondering if she ever will. Thanks Cranky Garage Door Guy.

I tried to give blood today and for the second time in a row was rejected for low hemoglobin. This in spite of a large spinach salad taken with lemon juice. I am feeling bad on several fronts. I am about to go start Lost which has I think 8 seasons. Done for the day.

I am trying very hard to remember my mom's life is her life and to be patient and to let love lead. This is surprisingly difficult

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