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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Tuesday, January 19, 2016

The yard care service sent me some before and after pictures. My mom is not satisfied but to me it looks like $1500 worth of work was done. It sure isn't pretty and there is more that needs to come out. I told her I would pay to have the taking out done. She doesn't like that idea and I can ill afford it but I can't see asking those people to do more. There's at least one more BIG tree that needs to go and a stump and if it were my yard I'd take more out. It would be a blank canvas. But it needs to be relandscaped and I do not think that's even on the radar of things to be done right now. And again, unless she takes out a huge loan I don't see how she can manage to pay for all that needs to be done. I have a small amount of money that I intend to give her, I thought I'd be contributing to having excess stuff hauled away but maybe she will want to get the yard stuff worked on first. I would clear the garage and get garage doors. So much needs to be done. In the pictures it is evident she needs window coverings. Windows too. It's daunting I really feel like I should be down there. And I am angry and resentful thatt she has to deal with Tressa's CRAP, accumulated over decades. This is a belated reaction you'd think, but it has been the same all along. My mom just let it happen and it seemed like it was, in a very twisted way, her choice. That human is the bane of my mother's life. And I am not sure that she knows it. Tressa that is. I guess it's more that she doesn't give a fuck. I could vent and vent and vent. I REALLY wish I could help my mom more. Heck I need to help me more, but it's my mom's time. But my total income was about $17,000 and that does not go far enough. I was never money oriented and at this point I wish I had given it more attention

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