About Me

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I am mundane and magical, Silly and serious. I am an underachiever who suspects that someday in the eternities I may yet blossom and even fruit. I am a collector of spirits and essences, a studier of mood and nuance.I have many many faults and yet I've always been loved. I am a good friend, but I will let you go if you so desire. I believe in Somewhen. I laugh easily and cannot often cry, which I know is a Flaw. Like You, I am a work in progess.

Monday, January 25, 2016

My mom is softening on the idea of me going down there. I told Bruce that last night and he thinks I should under the one and only mom law, but she seemed anxious and depressed and scared about it. One issue seemed to be that he thought my being physically absent would lead me to a decision that I don't need him. Actually I prize loyalty and Bruce has been loyal to me. He's supportive and kind and funny and while both of us wish we had more connection we do honestly love one another and I plan to keep this relationship. At least as long as that is also his wish! He's worried about money and I can understand that. I'd need to get a job if I went down there. He's worried about me quitting my current job and leaving my very small business. Understandable. But this is my one and only mother and she needs help. She is reluctant to have me go there which she knows would be hard on my life, probably hers too and this does not even factor in Corey. I have no idea what Corey would do, but it sounds like he is more of an impediment than a help and I honestly feel like he and his brother and mother are waiting like vultures for my mom to die. I think, if she were eating better and less stressed she may have some good time left. I really wish she would move up here, have that house renovated and sold and then she'd have money and peace to care for her for the rest of her life. But she is still firm in the idea that "she has to do what she can" I don't understand it, but I am not omniscient and if I don't do everything I can to try to help her I know I will regret it. She was coughing badly again when I spoke to her yesterday. She said it was because she got cold being downstairs trying to get a friend of Corey's to leave. She said she was down there till 4:15 am. Now, yes Corey is either 29 or 30 so technically an adult but he pays NOTHING to live there and she gives him money and pays for things for him. He helps her minimally. He's giving her a line now that if she fixes his teeth he will get a job and help her out. Yeah, right. So, I don't know what Corey would do if he was forced to leave but that would leave very little reason for him, Tressa or Brad to be there and if she had someone (me) she could rely on to take her where she needs to go and do what she needs to do she might have a little peace. I don't know what kind of work I could find there but it would probably be enough whatever it was and hopefully she'd agree to transitions somewhere out of that house eventually.

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